Reading way too hard between the lines…
I know I watched way too much Lost because I watch Hawaii Five-0 the way I watched Lost. When McG gave his address as 2727 Pi`ikoi last week, Captain Hardcore, Yous Truly, searched for it in google, thinking there’s some hidden meaning or importance to it. But no, there isn’t. That address doesn’t exist, and I need to run my brain in a lower gear to watch Hawaii Five-0. I just need to enjoy the sun and bikinis like everyone else. In fact, there’s so much skin time that I tend to ignore the dialog and retranslate everything in my mind, because I am still looking for a deeper, second meaning…
Episode 10, Hao Kanaka
Scene: Cut to Pier 20, Honolulu Harbor, Five-0 team looking down into the water.
Kono: Anyone up for a swim? [Oh gawd I gotta strip down to a bikini. Again!]
Chin Ho: I forgot to bring my board shorts. [No one wants to see me strip down 😦 Maybe there’s a broken computer I can fix!]
Danno: Looks like the rookie is going swimming! [Hell yeah I want to see Kono in a bikini! Again!]
McG: I’ll go in with you. [Guys, I’m required to be shirtless once every other episode, by contract.]
Danno: That’s very nice of you! [You show off. But I still look good in my my tight, fitted shirts.]
McG: You sure you don’t want to go for a swim? [Yeah that’s right buddy. You want to arm wrestle?]
Danno: You go ahead with your pants, I’ll be here with a dry towel. [Jerk.]
I have a feeling this dialog reveals the meaning of the red Champion tool box, but I’m still trying to figure it out. Maybe the polar bears know.
And now, “Things We Learned About Hawaii From Hawaii Five-0” Episode 10, Hao Kanaka
1) We have the most pathetic Iron Man triathalon. The start at Magic Island finishes a 100 yards later at the other end of the island, and is then followed by a 2 mile bike ride down the street. That’s the magic of Hollywood!
2) Cops here don’t allow silly things like probable cause or search warrants stop them from investigating.
3) We are so behind on the times, we still use Gavin’s List to buy, sell, look for jobs and find casual encounters. I heard you people on the mainland use something called Craig’s List?
Did you notice…
Kono talks about the “mauka” side of the street. Mauka in Hawaiian is a directional reference of something that is in the direction of the mountains. The opposite is “makai” or in the direction of the ocean. Hawaiians had no concept of compasses.
Kono mentions passing the Moana Surfrider Hotel. It’s one of the oldest hotels at the end of Waikiki.
Danno mentions at the end going to “Sidestreet”. He’s talking about Sidestreet Inn, a local restaurant that serves great local food. The restaurant was founded by a few of Hawaii’s top gourmet chefs who wanted to have a more casual restaurant.
“Hao kanaka” is Hawaiian for “iron man”, referring to McGarrett’s awesomely huge muscles.
McG has lost THREE phones…his iphone went overboard when Graham tossed it over the Mighty Mo. The second iphone was hacked by Bullfrog, and the third disappeared temporarily in a Samoan abyss.