Spamgate – Reconciliation with Alex O’Loughlin and a Spamtastic announcement!

I’m sorry, Alex

Well it’s been 9 days since I first broke the Spamgate scandal.  I’ve revealed some of the casts’ attitude towards our beloved delicacy, including Masi Oka, Grace Park, and especially from the main man himself, Alex O’Loughlin.

I’ve abandoned hope trying to communicate my unhappiness to the cast and crew, so I extend to Alex a gesture of aloha and goodwill in this open letter.

Dear Mr. O’Loughlin

I’m sorry that I overreacted to your comments about Spam.  I was speaking in the heat of the moment, but now have come to realize your palate is no doubt highly refined, and that you must keep your body in excellent shape for the contractual shirtless scenes.  We, the people of Hawaii do not want to be personally responsible for any Spam handles that you may develop.  You said in an interview you haven’t worked out since you’ve been filming, and a Spam infused diet will certainly not help.  I totally respect that.

I do ask though, that you do not disparage our “haute cuisine”.  I also ask that maybe if you try a little bit, just a bite a day, you may come to appreciate what we in Hawaii already know – that Spam is awesome.  Perhaps if you ate it in a comfortable surrounding,  somewhere that reminds you of home, like Outback Steakhouse, it may please your palate.  They can even bring you some Vegemite to spread on if that helps.

Also, I would like to respectfully suggest to you, Mr. Lenkov, Mr. Orci and Mr. Kurtzman, in a gesture of goodwill, allow the fine line of Spam products to be tactfully and surreptitiously placed into the show.  I know blowing up a brand new Chevy vehicle every week can be costly, so an advertising contract with Spam would be mutually beneficial.

Here are some suggestions for Spam product placement, that is very tasteful and inconspicuous:

Spam, official meal of the US Navy Seals

Spam, official meal of the US Navy Seals.

Spam toast

Dude, nothing ends a high speed chase better than a ice cold can of Spam.

 

Alex O'Loughlin wet and shirtless

Each container of Spam is packed with meat!

Warmest regards and Aloha,
Officer808

AND NOW A SPAMERIFIC ANNOUNCEMENT – THE SPAMTASTIC PHOTO CONTEST!

The rules have been moved!

Something You Didn’t Know About Spam

If you’re wondering why Spam is such a big deal in Hawaii, and why something like Spam is even offered at McDonald’s, allow me to explain.  During World War II, beef was a high priced commodity saved for the military.  Fishing vessels were not allowed to leave very far off shore (for fear of spying/subversion).  The only meat item that could be reliably transported across the Pacific was something canned and with a long shelf life, and you guessed it – Something Passing as Meat, also known as Hawaiian Steak, also known as Spam.  Since then, Hawaii never gave it up.  And now you know!! 😉

…and if you’re still reading…

The Spamgate scandal is done in satire and parody!  Alex can eat whatever he wants!  I hope you’re enjoying the Spamtabulous fun I’m having! 😉 😉 😉

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About officer808

Investigating Hawaii Five-0 from the inside.
This entry was posted in Alex O'Loughlin, News and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

27 Responses to Spamgate – Reconciliation with Alex O’Loughlin and a Spamtastic announcement!

  1. blue_daize says:

    Spam handles?@?@@!! And your product placement photos made me spit out my mandarin orange decaf green tea! May I have more, sir?

  2. Pingback: Tweets that mention Spamgate – Reconciliation with Alex O’Loughlin and a Spamtastic announcement! | Hawaii Five-0 UNDERCOVER -- Topsy.com

  3. spotted reptile says:

    “Perhaps if you ate it in a comfortable surrounding, somewhere that reminds you of home, like Outback Steakhouse”
    I love Spamgate and appreciate your efforts to initiate Alex into its mysteries, but FYI no self-respecting Aussie would be seen anywhere near an Outback Steakhouse!

    • officer808 says:

      Spotted Reptile, I respectfully disagree. I have it on good authority (from a Mr. C. Dundee) that Outback Steakhouse is indeed authentic. I just read the menu, and noticed immediately that it’s printed in the Australian language. Also, may I recommend Taco Bell for authentic Mexican food. 😉

    • McPhee says:

      Yeah you’re right on that spotted reptile unless it’s Hogsbreath Cafe because they do great steak well I haven’t been there but apparently I have heard they do great steak

      Spam with Steak and vegemite on top may work. I haven’t tasted spam so I don’t know what it’s like

  4. cfl96744 says:

    this has to be the most thought provoking post i have ever read. i just submitted my entry!! it would be a Christmas blessing if i won that can of SPAM!!!

  5. lucy2 says:

    That is hilarious!

  6. This is a hoot! Great idea.

  7. Miss Sugar says:

    I love this article!!!! Yeah, has he tried it? Don’t the restaurants here actually serve that other junk, anyways? Just sayin’…gonna have to try da contest, Brah!!

  8. LizKS says:

    “Each container of Spam is packed with Meat!” ALRIGHT!! LOL!! Hilarious letter! I hope Alex enjoys the letter but I doubt if he will enjoy the spam. 😉 There are two ways and only two that I will eat spam. One is fried on white bread with spicey mustard, and sliced, on white bread with Miracle Whip and that is on rare occasions. 🙂 My dad was in WWII and he said they fed them spam in their rations and that’s why he would never eat it again after leaving the Army. I bet there are a lot of Spam stories out there.

  9. Heather says:

    Horribly late to this party – but that’s not anything new for me, unfortunately.

    So here’s a suggestion for initiating a spamhater. I adore this, btw:

    Toasted, buttered English Muffin (or a biscuit works, too). Place onto the EM some thin-sliced and crisp-fried Bacon Spam and a fried egg (firm whites, runny yolk).

  10. Val says:

    Oh my gosh officer Bob, that was brilliantly done, I haven’t laughed so much like this in a really long while. I almost wished you really did have that mailed to Alex O’Loughlin or hand delivered to him in person via some of your sources you might know on the island broh because its sooo funny. Well done tho, coming from last night’s episode seemed like such a great idea to find this and share it with all of us who haven’t seen this at all. Love it!!

  11. joey says:

    poor guy i am on his side – yuk yuk and did i say yuk

  12. Jamee says:

    It’s 1:40am and I think I just woke up everyone in the house after reading that!!! Maybe the whole block too. Hell, I think I just woke up Mr. O’Loughlin himslef!!! Hilarious!!!

  13. hawaiiobsessed says:

    This was even funnier the second time around. You owe me a new keyboard! I can’t get the coffee out. You are a nut! :>)

  14. Janelle Robles says:

    Mahalo! I so needed that. Had a rough day at work and you made me split a gut and laugh out loud! Thanks for your dedication to the website and your fans.

  15. amanda says:

    This is hilarious!! I especially love the advertisements! They’re very inconspicuous indeed 😉

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