If you don’t want to read this spectacular alternate ending to “Kai E’e”, scroll further below.
Scene: Hallway to the governor’s office.
Steve stood there, at a loose military “at ease” position, waiting for the governor’s assistant to round the corner. He didn’t have to stand that way, but it was a military habit he was never going to get over-the Governor was his superior. Military bearing became second nature after years of conditioning. Lost in his own thoughts, he almost didn’t hear the shuffling behind him. Turning, he saw Chin, Kono and Danny.
“What are you looking at… we’re all in this together,” Danny said.
The assistant finally came around. “Commander, the Governor’s ready for you.” Looking past him, “She only wants McGarrett,” she told the others.
He fell in step behind her, followed her a few feet around the corner and through the two huge koa wood doors. The first thing his eyes were drawn to was the huge desk at the far end of the office. Governor Pat Jameson was sitting in her high backed chair, with her shoulder tucking her LG Optimus 7 phone to her ear (available at fine electronics stores nationwide).
“Yeah. Uh-huh. I know, I only got one chance at this.” McGarrett could hear her mutter into the phone.
“I’m sorry Ma’am, your assistant said you were-” he said softly just as the assistant quietly shut the doors on her way out.
She cut him off mid sentence, holding the finger of her free hand in the air. He stopped, and took a breath. He had never been into the Governor’s office before and looked around. From left to right he gazed…there were photos of her shaking hands with dignitaries, even one of her with Hiro Noshimuri, the business man he had just arrested the week before. He looked further down the wall, and noticed something interesting…an oval shaped African shield…two crossed spears over it…and what in the world was that in the corner…was that a stuffed…?
“Cougar” called out the Governor, watching him. “I took him down myself while hunting in Montana. I owe you a beer, by the way,” she said nonchalantly and handed him a bottle of Kona Brewing Company’s Fire Rock Pale Ale (available at fine supermarkets everywhere).
The pressure was mounting, but McGarrett didn’t want to be rude, so he took the cold bottle in his hand.
“You’re a hunter, Ma’am?” was the only thing he could think of saying.
“Well just for that day, at least,” she quipped and took a sip from her bottle.
McGarret followed suit and took a swig of the fine, refreshing ale currently on sale for $6.99 for a six pack at your nearest liquor store.
There was an awkward pause for a second, as she gave him a once over from top to bottom. Not quite an eye-hump, but a casual once over.
“But I hunt whenever the mood strikes, especially when I see something I like,” she said. Simultaneously, an eyebrow raised and a corner of her lip came up in a curve for a split second.
McGarrett snorted ale out of his nose.
“What was that Ma’am?” he choked, wiping beer from his nose.
“Nothing,” and her half smile dropped.
He stood there, stunned, and the Governor moved up from her chair and behind him.
“We have a problem,” she said flatly, from behind him.
“Yes I know, Governor, about the $10 million…” he started.
“The $10 million you coincidentally needed to ransom Chin Ho? Yes, any idea where that could have gone?”
“Ma’am, we had every intention to-”
“Call me Pattycakes,” she said demurely.
“I can’t do that Gov-”
“Just stop right there.”
From the corner of his eye he saw her extend her index and middle finger of her left hand onto his left hand. Like the old yellow page ad, she let her fingers do the walking, up his forearm, past the tattoo on his bicep and onto his shoulder.
“So just what are we going to do about this missing money, Steven? I can make it disappear for good,” she purred.
McGarrett’s mind rushed. A few years ago, his SEAL team was outmanned and outgunned in a little hamlet just outside of Kandahar. He was rationally concerned for his safety at that time. What he was feeling now was pure fear.
“There’s one way we can forget about this $10 million, Commander,” she murmured.
“Ma’am?” he could only stammer.
“Take off your shirt.”
He froze. He didn’t know what to do.
“Do I have to make that an order, sailor?” she said sternly.
Hesitantly he undid his tucked shirt, and pulled it all off in one quick stroke.
“Now turn around,” the Governor ordered.
His eyebrows furrowed, and he turned his head slowly at first, not knowing what to expect, then eventually spun around.
The Governor was standing there, her LG phone in hand, positioned to take a photo. The LED flash went off and the synthesized sound of the shutter snapped.
McGarrett’s jaw dropped. “Ma’am did you just take a photo?”
A childish grin crept up her face, “Yeah. Totally. The girls on the forum are going to love this.” She started to hit the upload button.
“What girls? What forum?” he stammered.
She ignored him. “Look at the expression on your face! It’s like you’re having an…”
“Aneurysm?” The words were out of his mouth before he could even stop his lips from moving.
“Well I was going to say embolism, but whatever. Steve, everyone wants to see you shirtless. The newspaper is covering everything you’re doing and you’ve got quite a fan club on the internet going on!” she said excitedly.
“But Ma’am, what about the $10 million?!?!”
“Don’t worry about it, I’ll raid the Rainy Day Fund, raise some taxes, who knows. Who cares. I got you shirtless. HA! You’re dismissed.”
Confused, he put his shirt back on, and walked back out to his team. They all stood to greet him.
“She’s satisfied,” was the only thing he could muster.
“Satisfied?!” said Danny in disbelief. “That took only 2 minutes! Is that all it takes for you to satisfy a woman, Cassanova?”
“She wanted to thank us, actually she wanted to congratulate us for another job well done,” McGarrett said, winging it.
“What about the money,” Chin said hurriedly.
“$28 million…it’s all present and accounted for,” said McGarrett.
“What? I don’t understand,” Kono said.
“I don’t wanna talk about it!” McGarrett said as he rushed away.
[cut to Chevrolet commercial]
Ok so what really happened to the $10 million?
I’ve read a lot of interesting theories thanks to my bestest blog and facebook followers and on the forums I follow. A whole bunch of you think Wo Fat planted the money. A few clever ones think the Governor had something to do with replacing the money. While we don’t have a lot to go on, I’ll take a stab at a few theories.
What we know:
The Coast Guard and HPD took down a huge cocaine and $28 million cash bust eight years ago.
3 years ago $200,000 went missing and Chin Ho lost his job.
$10 million was liberated from the evidence locker not long ago, to be used to ransom Chin Ho from Victor Hesse, who subsequently torched it.
Commander Hale of the Coast Guard managed to sneak what he thought was $28 million into the sandbags.
The Five-0 team feared their $10 million dollar default on their “loan” would be discovered when the money was recovered.
Governor Jameson told McG all the money was there.
“Someone” orchestrated the fake tsunami and heist (according to the hacker).
1) Wo Fat had another mole in the HPD who knew of and replaced the missing $10 million. Hale was simply the bagman who’s promised a cut after delivering the money back to Wo Fat. Governor Jameson had no idea of what’s going on. If the plan failed (as it did), all $28 million would still be accounted for, and HPD would not have to launch another internal investigation, and the money would go back to the evidence locker.
2) Wo Fat and crew failed to get the $28 million, the Governor realized there’s only $18 million, but lies to reporters and the Five-0 team about the amount to save her and the HPD from embarrassment.
3) My favorite… Governor Jameson was somehow involved. We know she’s tied to Hiro Noshimuri, the Yakuza boss of Hawaii. She may be under pressure to keep HPD internal affairs from investigating the missing money, so Wo Fat or Hiro Yoshimuri may have given the money to Jameson to put back into evidence.
4) Governor Jameson told McGarrett that $10 million was missing. McGarrett came clean. Jameson told McGarrett to tell his team that the money was there, in the hopes of rooting out a mole or weeding out the perpetrator of the fake tsunami (Wo Fat).
Ultimately my impression is that *someone* wants the entire $28 million to be accounted for so HPD wouldn’t be alerted, but this same someone wants their $28 million back. Considering it was a joint Coast Guard/HPD operation that netted the bust, I can guess that it was a Yakuza drug shipment traveling between Hawaii and Japan.
So, to my active Hawaii Five-0 Undercover Special Agents (I promote you all 😉 )what do you think…?
For the record, I did not go through the writer’s room document shredder and repiece the above missing scene together. It’s 1:00 AM, Nyquil is kicking in and my imagination is working overtime.